Dalam kenangan .......




and everyday .... al-fathiha ......



Gambar bersama Huda di hari jadi ke 80th tahun ....


Bapak...Kepadanya tanganku menadah semoga roh nya di cucuri rahmat





Bapak tak pernah lelah dan selalu mengalah membesarkan kami semua





Bapak... Ada dan tiada kau selalu kucinta Kepada Allah kami berDo’a





Semoga bapak selalu bahagia ... Dimanapun raga dan jiwamu berada





Bapak...Kurindukan kehadiranmu .... Walaupun kini kita tak mampu bersua hanya dlm mimpi





Namun bapak selalu dihati kami semua .....





Dan semoga bapak ditempatkan dengan orang2 yang beriman di sisi Nya ..... amin.











Genap100 hari bapak meniggalkan kami adik-beradik hari jumaat dan tahlil akan di-adakan hari ini sebelum maghrib dan kali ini kenduri akan di-buat olih adik bungsu Aini ... kami bergilir membuat nya dan kami adik-beradik akan beriftar bersama .











Mengapa hari ni sebab anak sedara Hannah hanya dapat pulang hari sabtu dan sampai jam 9 mlm dari Australia dan dia dah pesan nak bersama masa tahlil ... kesian masa tahlil 40 hari dia dah berada di uni di Australia.








Sama2 kita mendoakan semoga arwah bapak akan sentiasa di-sisi NYA.








Nampak nya raya tahun ni akan sepi sikit dgn tiada nya org tua di rumah tapi walau macam mana pun saya buat ala kadar dan sebagai anak yg sulong mesti adik-beradik akan datang mengunjung.




















till my next entry ................

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 5:55 AM 14 comments

So near and yet so far .......


I was lonely after atok's death and what I did was ....... I went onto the Singapore Flyer to be high up there ..... but of course I didn't get to see atok as he was even higher than the flyer could go.

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 9:43 AM 30 comments

Thank You .......








The Jellanies would like to take this opportunity to thanks each and everyone of you for your moral support to the family when he was ill in hospital and thank you for your condolences during our grieving period.



Bapak telah selamat dikebumikan on thursday 12th di pusara abadi at 2pm ... semoga roh nya di-cucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan dgn orang2 yg beriman....amin.




Thank you too to all of you for smses and calls from far and near and also to some who came to visit ... only Allah will repay your kindness insya'allah.If I miss to answer your smses please accept my apology.

For your info I am ok and life will go on .... I may not be taking phonecalls for a period as I may cry when I speak so hope you will understand ya.

Kenduri tahlil for 3rd day was done at my sis Ram place last saturday and tahlil 7th days will be done at my my place on wednesday 18th June.

Bapak you may have left us but you are always in our heart and mind.

till my next entry...........

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 7:54 AM 22 comments

Al-fathiha.....

Bapak/atok telah pulang kepada NYA jam 6.34 ptg tadi.

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 7:43 PM 48 comments

Life Support ......

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 8:10 AM 16 comments

Atok progress ......





On saturday morning around 6plus as usual its time to see atok in his room...Wati as usual will be first person to do so and washing him and changing his diapers and all.I went in when Wati called me and atok look at me but he was so tired he went back to sleep.Around 7 plus Wati tried calling him as its medication time and he just refuses to open his eyes and we get no response at all.My brother came at around 8 plus with kuih2 for him and he too was unable to rouse him from his sleep.I sms to my 2 sisters and told them that I think atok is in coma (stage 1) and want them to come and see for themselves and also told them that he needs to be hospitalised.Lina,Fandi and Ram came and we called the ambulance and had him send to NUH.....the news came and we were so shocked....he is indeed in coma 1 stage and worst his blood pressure dipped down to only 70/40 and some his organs are failing too doctors told us he only have few hours to live and to call family members to come and see him.He was indeed in bad position and we were prepared to loose him.We stayed till late at the hospital and I'd only left at 11pm and at 11.30pm my sis called to say he is going down and come to the hospital......didn't get home till almost 2am.My 3 brothers and sis Lina and bro in law stayed with him.













Yesterday I was there too with my aunt from KL from morning till almost 10pm....my body just couldn't take it anymore ... I was so tired.I called him when I was there at around 9.30am and he opens his eyes much to my surprise after I salam him and told him my aunt is also here and he looks at her acknowledged her.He couldn't talk but tried ..... he was alert for nearly half an hour and then he went down again .... his blood pressure dipped again and again we were told he may slip away any moment.All family members are united alhamdulillah ... all eyes are red with crying .... for almost 4 hours non stop doa and surah yasin was read to him ... he was so weak and yet he is fighting ... opening and closing his eyes ..... fighting .... fighting ..... THEN he starts to talk asking for water ... etc....and most of all he recognises us.













Today we were given an alternative choice of intubate him with tube into his lung with support his breathing and he is being placed in ICU for close observations .... atok is in critical stage and its up to him to fight this battle.All supportive medications are given and we reserve the right to Allah to allow him to live if he it is not time for him to leave us yet.Seeing him in ICU bring tears to ones eye how pitiful he is being strap in both hands and not responding to our calls as he is strongly sedated so that he won't feel uncomfortable with the tubes in his throat.Seeing all those hooked up machines already looks so scary ..............













Semoga atok di bawah perlindungan NYA ... insya'allah.









I like to thank those who have made phone calls and smses ... I maynot be able to answer stat but will do so when time permits.













till my next entry...........

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 5:55 AM 10 comments

Update on atok.....

He is a fighter and still fighting ... even doctors are puzzled!
Thank you all for your moral support in our moment of sadness.
Times when we think he is slipping away he gains his strength and we were prepared for the worst yesterday with all members of families present...but he is not ready to leave us yet....

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 10:44 AM 22 comments

Sementara.....


Atok is very ill in hospital now.He slips into coma early this morning and am now under close observations in hospital.Doctor think he maynot last till morning but only HE knows .... untuk sementara blog ini akan menyepi untuk seketika.


Ku iring doa untuk mu bapak semoga jika kau pergi meninggalkan kami pergi lah dengan hati yang tenang.Kau lah insiprasi kami adik beradik dan tiada kamu tiada lah kami.Ku redha pemergian mu dan kau akan selalu di dlm ingatan kami.


Thank you all for the smses today,I won't be taking any calls for the time being.
Thank you to Doc Adah and Norabella for coming to the hospital today.







till my next entry............

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 10:13 PM 15 comments

Atok progress.....


Atok progress is not encouraging at all I am sad to say since been discharged on monday he has remained in bed and he is indeed very very weak.He is unable to stand up even with help and at one time he will sleep facing to his right but now even turning to his sides needs lots of energy ... poor bapak.He sleeps most time not knowing day and night as he doesn't want his curtain drawn thinking that people will look in.


He is still in delirium most times too asking for things which the maid don't understand most time too.Three important in his possessions are his passport,bankbook and wallet and whenever he opens his eyes and wanting his shirt he will asks for that 3 things.I felt sorry sometimes as his thinking is very far off just on wednesday itself he suddenly want to go for his appt and when I told him its next month ....

bapak ..... then I want to go home
me........bapak you are at home @ BB
bapak..... yes I want to go home to BB
me......yes this is home,you are at BB
bapak.....so I sleep here tonite till tomorrow?
me......you are sleeping here everyday on your own bed
bapak......oh I am at home?

and slowly between me and Wati we managed to coax him back to lay down.........



Now you tell me how do you feel when your own parents suddenly becomes like that?even writing this now I have tears at the corner of my eyes.Father was a very cheerful and always talking all info we want are always at his fingertips.Just ask him he will tell you from taking buses to anything you want to know.He watch the news from local to CNN to BBC world happenings and the sports channels..whose in and whose out...he will tell you.




When my sis Aini came he told her he is worried about his children ( thats us) and his children - what will happen to us??Aini told him not to think too much just try and relax and his answer "how to relax?the things keep coming to his mind".




I have made a point informing all my siblings to come daily and not all at same time during the weekends so that if one of us is around daily even if its just for an hour or so to talk to him so he won't feel lonely and to bring him back to the present.When I am at work he will be all alone with the maid Wati.So far responds is good ...Aini comes in everyday and talk to him since she is taking a break from work temporary.At times he will ask for some of the children and I will sms them to inform them 'father asking for you'....so cepat2 lah dtg....




Alhamdulillah as I am writing this bapak has walked with aids from my brother and Wati to the sitting room after so many days.

Please doakan ye bersama semoga atok akan cepat sembuh.









I managed to get hold of this DVD at last .... my sis bought it in JB 2 weeks ago and now that Aini and family has left for Darwin for a holiday at my aunt Ju's place I am borrowing it to watch one of this days.







till my next entry.................

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 8:29 AM 16 comments

Get well soon.....

Atok is back in hospital again,he was admitted this afternoon after long persuation by my sis Aini.Yesterday I tried but unsuccessful and in the afternoon my sis Lina also failed.He has been having the run since last week and am getting weaker and he sleeps most time and I am afraid that he may just slip into a coma without us knowing.





This morning Wati told me atok was awake at 2.30am and was delirious which is not a good sign.I called Aini and explain to her and ask her to come by to see atok and do the needful.It isn't easy and finally managed to persuade him into going but when ambulance he acted again but lucky the ambulance staff were patient with him.





I managed to go off work early at 4pm and straight to the hospital to take over from her and by time I arrived a bed was allocated to him in ward 61 room 13 an isolation ward again as he is also having chest infection and this time on his right lung.He is NIL BY MOUTH tonite as they will be doing investigations on him tomorrow and I hope he will be ok otherwise he will be very moody:)Sometimes he remembers and sometimes he can't at this period.



Let us pray for both maklang and atok for a speedy recovery.





till my next entry..............

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 9:45 PM 19 comments

Mini Hospital....

Since atok been home we have all the necessities equipments for his use and at last managed to order a wheelchair for him but not the particular one I wanted.

Atok was admitted to hospital on 1st February and discharged on 22nd April that gives almost 12 weeks of hospital stay and not 7 weeks as I mentioned before ..... excuse my poor brain eh ... hehe



Atok wheelchair a b'day present from Maria and family in the states.

Atok bilik termenong pun lengkap .... nanti saya pun nak pinjam bolih duduk baca magazine lama sikit nampak very comfortable kan ... dan kalau nak mandi lubang tu bolih di tutup sebagai kerusi.

The 4 legged walker I bought for him from St Luke's hospital and he has been using it a lot walking from his room to sitting room and toilet.....very handy indeed.

Today I had friends came for lunch and I just cooked a simple dish of mee bakso along with chicken curry eaten with french loaf.My first time trying this dish and it turned out yummy :)Recipe available at my kitchen.

To maklang semoga cepat sembuh dan cuma nak ingatkan cuba byk berehat dulu untuk masa ni ye?

till my next entry...........

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 9:27 PM 22 comments

Atok again.....

Atok is back to NUH again for pneumonia yesterday afternoon.His left lung is again surrounded by fluid and if it doesn't go away he prob may have to do the tap again.Atok oh atok tak nak balik rumah ke?dah 2.5 months in hospital macam suka sangat tinggal di hospital kan kan kan?

We want you home atok your new LCD TV 32 ins birthday present awaiting .... but I've been watching it first and once you are home there goes my chance of holding that remote controlllllllll.......hahahaha

No matter bapak kami semua doakan bapak cepat semboh ..... sebetul saya pun penat turun naik dr hospital ke hospital hari2 sampai rumah lewat dan kepenatan.So atok have mercy on this spice girl lah ok ..... hehehehe .... maaf saya mengeluh sedikit ye?




till my next entry..............

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 8:14 AM 20 comments

The Plan.......



In 2 wks time it will be atok's 80th birthday and we have planned a big bash for him and we made this known to him.He is looking fwd to have all the Jellanies to be present on his birthday.. even my sister from the states will be here for the big occassion.This is one way for atok to get well as we want him to have fun on that day.



Special thanks to bro in law Saat for the lovely designed invites and itinerary and planning and also to sister Aini who has booked a function room at her residence.Thank you too to all who have kindly contribute cash vouchers etc and gifts to lucky winners.We are all working together for a successful bash.To my nephews and nieces who are reading this please get yourself ready to practise and rehearse your contributions for that night.I am also hoping that Imran Ajmain will be able to help me out with songs for the nephews and nieces .... hey Imran I am still waiting for your sms again.....Mus please remind him eh ..... haha....



I am contributing gifts for the lucky draw and games too and as for food we are catering them but of course dear sisters and sisters in law your contributions for desserts are most appreciated and to the Jellanie siblings the more contributions of $$$ means we can have a merrier gathering......

We the children of Jellanie Manaff are hoping for atok speedy recovery and we want you to enjoy your 80th birthday soon bapak.

At atok's request he only wants his children and spouses,grandchildren and greatgrandchildren to celebrate with him....

ps Atok is expected to be discharged on 9th of April.



Insya'allah our plan will be a success ..... amin.











till my next entry..................

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 9:26 PM 23 comments

Our lunch yesterday lemak nenas and ikan bilis goreng cili and ikan asin goreng.

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 6:47 AM 21 comments

A day in a ward......

Atok still with the pleural tap and he is still feeling uncomfortable and still has difficulty with his breathing....hmmmm....

I stayed whole afternoon with my aunt Ju who came down from Darwin in the ward talking to him and keep him company.I think cik Ju must be bored stiff!!in the evening when my sisters and bro came we left together and went for dinner at 9pm at makan syiok....food ok ok...if you are hungry even if its not nice the plate is clean:)


Few patients were discharged leaving 4 empty beds but when evening came 2 new admissions all asthma cases.Mr Teo - the oxygen man was discharged in the afternoon and he went home with the oxygenless tube....hehehe....what a pity....the daughter in law was surprised when the nurse told her that even his was attached to the oxygen metre it wasn't on!!!so looks like he will be living with that oxygenless tube for sometimes.


Today I was reading the paper and saw the obituary of Mr Tan ( who had heart attacked) died peacefully yesterday.My deepest condolence to his family,because of our fathers we get to know each other.... a day in the ward makes a lot of difference in our live.




My hardworking helper .... but she can never remember to put things where they belongs when she cleans the cupboard etc .... double work for me!!!Atok say she a bit blur now when atok ask her something she answers another.....hehe....

Since aunt Ju spent the night at my place I did the cara lauk for our breakfast this morning and for lunch we ate yesterday rendang leftovers.

I let my helper go first to the hospital so that atok has someone to help him at lunch time and I will leave later around 3pm with fresh tea and his dinner and will stay till visiting time over at 8pm.

I will be going back to work as from monday 3rd March an won't be able to visit atok till I am off and hope atok will be comfortable.

till my next entry...........

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 1:10 PM 10 comments

Atok's update....




Atok had his pleural tap done yesterday and he is in a lot of pain ... who wouln't if you have a huge needle stuck into your chest wall to drain all the fluid and the picture above shows the gadgets.A big tube is draining the fluid plus some blood too and so far about 1000mls already in the container which is pumped.



The 2 girls doing their 2 hrly check on his blood pressure and oxygen level reading.

Poor atok he is really suffering .... when we wanted to leave he requested for us to stay longer as he was having shortness of breath.We stayed till almost 9.20pm .... I think he is scared that if anything happen to him we are not around.Insya'allah atok you will get better in a couple of days and can come home.

Atok next bed neighbour Mr Tan had a heart attack soon after his daughter left him,I was a little late coming and he was already in bad shape,I felt his body and it was cold and soon after the red code alert .... all the doctors and nurses were there doing their emergency treatment,screen were drawn and I can hear them pumping him ....... I left the ward not wanting to be there and sat in the tv room.....20 minutes later they revived him and he was transfered to the ICU.


Mr Teo finally got his oxygen:) no more oxygenless nasal canula...wonder if he can feel the different?





till my next entry.............

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 7:36 AM 13 comments

Geli Hati........





Atok and his nasal cannula oxygen supply is a must for him as and when he requires it ....

yesterday the Head of the medical team came to do the rounds in the ward followed by his MO's who on other days will be doing themselves.When it comes to atok's bed the Head spoke to atok and ask of his well being ..... bla...bla...bla .... atok told him of his complains that he has been telling the MO's day after day of his pain of left leg/knee .... the Head examines atok himself and ........ and.......and hit the right spot that made atok yell and jerks his leg and at same time the Head too felt it that is the pain as he jumps back ..... after that all the MO's infront of atok kena scolding"and what have you done for it???".... if you ask me nothing as I've also been telling them of atok's difficulty to sit and stand.Last night bro in law help atok to do physio of bending his knee etc after massaging it and he did well ....





His repeat chest xray showed not much of improvement and the oxygen level in his blood test also seem low so they are doing a CTScan of the Brain to check if there's any blockage????and I have the feeling that atok may have a silent stroke while he was in hospital without our knowledge.



Mr Tan next bed on his right now been tube fed and both hands in boxing glove so he can't pull the ryle's tube in his nostril but few times I had to put the glove back for him somehow he manages to pull his hands out by putting his leg at the tip of the glove and pull his hand out .... pandai betul Mr Tan ni kan?





Yang mengelikan hati ye lah ah pek on atok's left ..... since this is a respiratory ward everyone in this ward have their own oxygen nasal cannula next to their bed....and this cartoon ah pek .... sori tak ingat nama dia nanti pergi visit atok will look whats his name ....hahaha ..... he ask for his nasal cannula and kept it in his drawer ..... don't know why I was looking at him and guess what???? he was using the it ......





this is what the nasal cannula looks like ... hahahaha ..... sahja aje dia gunakan ..... geli hati betul ..... hahahahahaha ...... I tak bolih tahan ...... nak tau kenapa????

it was not connected to the oxygen flow metre .... so takde oxygen lah ....... hahahhaaaaaa.......dah tu when my eyes meet the S/Nurse eyes we both geleng-geleng kepala macam cat-cat Robert ..... psycological agak nya he thinks it works!!!If only I brought my camera ....... hehehe


When my sisters came I told them and semua ketawa geli hati.....ada2 aje kan?macam2 kerena dlm cubicle ni.






till my next entry.............

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 8:53 AM 16 comments

Tikar Mengkuang....


Pembantu/penolong yang teramat rajin dah mula beroperasi jadi semua cerok di bersihkan yg dah lama saya tutup satu mata.Pepagi ni dia mula mencuci carpet di bawah coffee table jadi saya letak kan tikar mengkuang sebagai ganti...bolih tahan jugak.Kalau kita tengok betul2 tikar mengkuang ni cantik juga pattern dia so why not??

Tikar mengkuang dah lama juga saya beli dan kali pertama mengunakan nya ... mungkin bila carpet tu kering saya akan roll and simpan dulu bila sampai masa nya tikar ni saya akan mengulung nya takut bila bapak dah sihat bolih pulang takut tersandung dek tikar yg ringgan ni nanti jadi satu hal lagi.




Ni dia tikar mengkuang tu ... cantik kan pattern nya?Baru $9.00 aje.

Hari ni tak masak cuma mengoreng mee aje ... tu lah lunch dan juga dinner ......

dan juga cucur udang lagi hari tu nephew Shafiq nak lagi...masa membawa nya ke hospital..kali ni saya letak udang fresh lebih sikit so mangkin sedap lah bila di makan.

Atok masih complain SOB so oxygen tubing mmg di sebelah katil bila2 perlu bolih gunakan....hari ni doctor ordered another xray for his left leg/knee,mmg knee dia bengkak sekali dan di sebelah betis dia bolih rasa macam ada tumbuhan keras padan lah dia selalu kata sakit sebab tu susah nak berdiri.

Tentang Mr Tan pesakit sebelah dia yg selalu lucutkan seluar dan diaper nya....hari ni saya berbual dgn anak dia ... Mr Tan dah 78 yrs old dan mula nyanyuk sikit so apa yg dia buat bukan kehendak nya.Hari ni masih tak bolih minum atau makan dia kena NIL BY MOUTH bukan kerena pergi opration atau preparation tapi mengikut anak nya apa2 yg dia makan atau minum selalu nya masuk ke paru2 dan bukan perut dia...itu yg menyebabkan dia selalu sesak nafas dan sudah beberapa kali turns blue....dia asyik memanggil minta tolong"aunty I am hungry".....

Hari ni dah 3 kali dia cabut IV needle dari lengan dia .... rupa nya dia nak minum air dari drip tu .... sungguh kesian ... masa dia mencabut kali ketiga saya terus mengambil dari nya kang di masuk kemulut nya dgn jarum tu jadi satu hal pulak.Saya explain ngan dia yg dia tak bolih minum ikut arahan doctor ... masa tu anak dia dah pulang...tak tau lah kalau dia faham atau tidak.Saya bersyukur kepada NYA yg atok walaupun tak bolih makan dan minum 3 hari tu dia tak mengamok tapikan saya playcheat juga .... hahaha .... masa membasahkan bibir nya dgn ice ada juga saya bagi dia ice untuk di hisap mengeringkan tekak dia ..... hahaha....

till my next entry..................

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 9:46 PM 6 comments

TGIF....


I had the best last nite...I was so tired but I finally was able to YM with maklang after so many days spending my evening at the hospital.So this morning I am a little energetic and crave for cucur udang.Early morning went to the market to stock my freezer.

TGIF and after tonite ada yg akan membantu I am so hahaha ...... the biggest happy smiley I can find.My indon helper will be here if applications successful by early of next month then I will have a helper so going to work will be breeze for me.Yes I am jobless the month od February no work no salary......adoiiiiiiiiiiiiii.


Atok is allowed soft diet yesterday and maybe today too so for lunch today I did the ginger chicken with sesame oil for him to go with his porridge.






Then someone sms me last night 'lama tak makan sambal blacan' so here it is done it this morning too ........

I added a bit of cili padi and my gosh ..... pedassssssssss sikit.

I will update on atok when I get back tonite and for everyone's info remember I wrote about a pakcik in a corner bed with a pilot fighter mask? They pulled his respirator yesterday afternoon when I was there and his family were there reading the yassin and he passed away peacfully at 8pm.....al-fathiha and takziah untuk keluarga arwah.He was a chain smoker and his lungs collapsed.

till my next entry............

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 11:10 AM 19 comments

A-Z.....

Atok went into hospital for a #arm but end up with so many complications A-Z....
They did all investigations from top to toe and so many diagnosis were found...at least for sure we know what treatment will be involved...
Its common of the elderly generations to have so many complications one leads to another and seem like no ending.......urrrgggggggghhhhh!

He is off oxygen as yesterday and only allowed CLEAR FLUID which is limited to 1litre a day ... hmmm another hungry day for him its so pitiful and hope today he will be allowed at least some porridge.Anyway I've steamed half a seabass for him for lunch if not allowed I will just let him have the soup.



He had an echogram done yesterday afternoon and it looks his heart also not too good ..... ya ALLAH sampai di sini sahja lah hendak nya tiada lagi cubaan untuk atok.....amin.



To all my cyber friends harap maaf ye if I can't bloghop or leave a comment these few weeks my time are mostly spent at the hospital.Even if I managed to read your entries I am unable to leave a comment sometimes....by the time I reach home I am ready to zzzzzzzz......
When things are more settled I will be more active again.




till my next entry.................

Labels: atok

posted by Kak Elle at 9:58 AM 19 comments